hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
