mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
