I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
