don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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