No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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