Me. At least after what I've been through.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
