i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
