How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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