I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just gift wrapped bread.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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