He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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