he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also, beer. Big fan.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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