Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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