Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
