She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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