I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
