theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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