I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
