Dual....:-)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
