In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
