Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
