And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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