Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
