is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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