i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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