I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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