you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
