Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
