when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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