But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
