i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
