So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
