well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
