Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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