when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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