just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
