Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He did a backflip because drugs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
