I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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