Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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