I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
