I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is my gift to your gina
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
