I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
