a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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