I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
