my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
