This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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