I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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