Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
