It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
