What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
