in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
