I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
